“Where we had thought to find an abomination… “

Too often in life, especially so with maters of religion and spirituality, in our attempts to become closer to God we end up leaving something of great value behind: our Soul.

Perhaps this is why so many take the terrifying plunge into the depths at some point in our lives.

• If you have found yourself at Gods temple & realized that you gave up your Soul just to be there– would it be worth it?
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• If you reclaimed your Soul & discovered it was being nurtured, protected, respected, and kept safe just for you, for your eventual return and reconciliation, by all the demons of Hell– how could you dare curse the depths once more?

‎Demons are not out to terrorize us, but they will chase us down, relentlessly if need be, to give you back your Soul. Run if you must– it is only the beauty of your life that pursues you. Pray you should stumble and fall, less you have the courage to face the monster with love.

You may enquire, “and just who, pray tell, are these demons protecting my Soul from?!”

……. What if they where protecting it– from You?

What if You had disparaged, neglected and suffocated your Soul? Your beautiful Soul… abandoned and alone, was rescued by the darkness. Those demons whom You denigrate and lament are your Souls only hope… protecting it from your abuse.

What if your whole life You had been treating your Soul no better than that husband who beats and batters his innocent wife?

Now, You wish to reunite with your lost Soul… Hell awaits You. There is no breaking in to this realm. If You bring weapons– they will vanish in your hand. If You dare bring armor– they will disintegrate off of your frame. If You wish to bring friends– they will desert you– as they should. When You come to the gates of Hell in search for the Soul that You so casually tossed away– come naked, unprepared, and reckless.

…If you long for hate, rage, or malice– go back to the Earth from which you came.
All those who dwell here are tired of such things…

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Compassion: The only currency of the depths– you will need much.
Forgiveness: The only law or code known in Hell.
Grace: Your only ticket out– Your only ticket in.

“… And where we had thought to be alone,
we shall be with all the world.” ~J.C.

Divine Collaborators

Recently a friend asked “what is your definition of Soul?” Indeed, I seem to have been asked this question several times over the past few months– and what a marvelous question to be asked!

On the onset of the adventure (yes… thinking can be an adventure in it’s own right) it happened on me that I could not approach the matter without taking ‘Spirit’ into consideration too– seems only natural to me that it should be so. Indeed, from time to time I would congress myself to further examine this question– to deepen my understanding of these ‘divine’ identities. These semi-formal assemblies of psychical energy represent a swelling of both conflicting and coalescing characters of my (presumed) totality– this raises a question for future consideration: is the psyche a democracy? 

I’ll write on that next week…  

…back to the nature of Soul & Spirit: 
In 2010 USA Today ran an article stating that “72% of Millennials [are] ‘more spiritual than religious.” While a great deal of my contemporaries report to holding the same feelings, I myself have never felt totally comfortable calling myself ‘Spiritual’. This seemed peculiar to me because I happen to identify with, and indeed champion, many of the same beliefs and practices of those who would consider themselves ‘Spiritual’.
What was the matter?

I started by listing all the associations that I had with both words and then looking at them side by side:

Soul is ancient while Spirit is youthful
Soul is wisdom while Spirit is knowledge
Soul is water & earth while Spirit is fire & air
Soul comes up from the depths while Spirit descends from the heights
Soul is the heart of things while Spirit is the blood.
I’ll go one step farther and say that Soul has more to do with the embodiment of energy while Spirit is wrapped up in the action of things.

Once pressed for an example of this dichotomy I searched for an image. Inspiration didn’t take long. We happen to be driving at the time so I slowed down to a crawl right in front of an old charming house. That home, I said, has allot’a Soul. It’s warm with informality. It’s darkened by dust and dirt; the kind that shakes off the pant legs of a child after an afternoon of play. It’s old and warn down by time; it’s seen a great deal of both pain and love. Then we rolled up to the house right next door. This was obviously a new development– construction must have just finished because it was bright white like it had just been painted. It was a tall house, you might even call it a McMansion, with many high points piercing the sky. It was clean– very clean. It felt like I would have to take off my shoes, slap on a pair of surgical gloves and sign a bunch of paper work just to get in the front door.

After this analysis it hit me– I just dont identify very much with the characteristics associated with Spirit (at least not at the moment). It’s not that those elements dont resonate with me, or that I am deviod of them, hardely. But, when I tallied up my feelings, making sence of things, I realized that there just wasnt any honest way I would call myself “Spiritual, but not religous” or even “more Spiritual than religious.”

For Soul also has more to do with pain, with suffering, with joy and with love. The Spirit is not as concerned with the aforementioned being increacingly interested in the elavation beyond such poetics, in the blinding radiance where all that we see, feel, and think is washed out. I was too intrusted with the darkness of things, with the depths and brokenness; too intimate with the heart, with the rhythms of love. No, I wasn’t a Spiritual person after all, so much as I was a man ”Full~of~Soul.”

Not that I should hope to be so lop sided– equilibrium is a good thing to aim toward. And not that I suppose that all people who call themselves Spiritual are in lack of Soul. But from that day on I have never identified myself as Spiritual and until I get more experience on that side of the equation I would guess that I’ll have to keep reporting the same. So until the next ‘official congress of the divine representatives of James’ psyche’ I shale be, “Soulful, but not religious.”

The Record of

Sir Reginald MacArthur Murphy Monreaux, PhD

Chapter 9, ‘I’ll tell you how it happened’

As a rule I tend to stay as far away from any ‘survivors’ as I can. However, through a series of unexpected circumstanced I now found myself in the mists of a whole group of them. “Might as well have some fun,” I thought to myself.

They were all arguing over the cause of the outbreak, as if finding someone or something to blame would ease their suffering. One of the men shouted, “it must have been the government. THEY PLANED THIS SHIT JUST LIKE THEY DID 9/11!” Another person, an older woman from Dallas, claimed this was because of America’s open stance on homosexuality; she followed up her argument with a vivid and detailed description of a lesbian affair that she had had back in college; this seemed to captivate the entire audience..

After a long and quite awkward pause I jumped in, “look, I’ll tell you how it happened. Our reports indicated a singular event for the outbreak. You see, not long ago a toothpaste manufacturer made the decision to transition from the old time honored style of paste tubes in favor of a new aerosol can; it was thought that the new slick design would draw on a more modern sensibility. Sexy… they called it… what no one in that boardroom meeting counted on was that their new toothpaste can had a striking resemblance to many shaving cream cans. Not long after the switch, as our intelligence reports indicate, a man in his late twenties living in Santa Fe, New Mexico woke up to begin his day and after a somewhat hurried dash to get out the door accidentally used the shaving cream can instead of toothpaste.”

“He brushed his teeth with SHAVING CREAM!?” Said the older woman in a sort of appalled and judgmental way, yet, strangely enough, with a honest sympathetic tone of voice that only folks from Texas could appreciate.

“He did just that, in all solemnity,” I replied. “His body reacted violently to the substance and soon his mind was gone. After stumbling through the streets many nice people stopped to help and see what was troubling the young man, poor bastards. He became the first, soon millions would follow. We still aren’t sure how the plague transferred from his body to the rest… there is still plenty we do not yet know.”

“And just who are you anyways???” countered a young woman from the crowd.

I retorted, “Madam, my name is Judas Booth, but my code name was Alan Smithee. For 37 years I worked as Director for the Center of Disease Control in Pawnee, Indiana; Senor advisor to the Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho administration; and during the first stages of the Apocalypse I was commander of the French foreign legion operating out of Lebanon– New Hampshire; in addition to holding 6 PhD’s from Epcot in Orlando Florida.” At this point I had them eating out of the palm of my hand. People will accept anything you say so long as you say it with the proper authority.

“I believe it”

Or Why Being Totally Fked~Up might just be Okay

Analyst: Good day Patient. How are you?

Patient: Not good Doctor … well, actually, maybe things are too good.

Analyst: How do you mean?

Patient: I’ve been seeing an analyst for a long time, I’ve read everything I can get my hands on, been to every retreat and seminar out there, and dedicated my life to discovering who I am and realizing myself.

Analyst: That’s very good. What’s the problem?

Patient: Look it– I’ve faced my Shadow so many times that I can’t even get mad at anyone anymore because I instantly recognize their evil as my own; I’ve become so present, so patient, I’m living right here right now, I’m living almost all of life in the ‘Now’ that I have lost the ability to make plans and understand my bank account; I’ve apologized to my inner child and we’re cool now; I’ve now integrated my Anima, a tremendous effort, and she is all recollected inside of myself, so much so that I’ve consequently lost all interest in women and having a relationship with a regular actual person;  I’ve shed my inauthentic persona that had been plaguing my interpersonal connections and now I can’t bullshit the debt collectors anymore or put up a fake front to get myself out of awkward social jams; I see God in everything, everywhere, in every person I meet … so much so that it’s getting profane; My dreams are so meaningful that just about all of my day is used up interpreting what significance they hold for the life I don’t have time for…

In short, I’m doing better than ever, I’ve never been more fulfilled and content, I’m enlightened … all this would be great if I only had a few years left before assending to a higher plane of existence but I’m 35 and probably have at least 35 more years to go … I’m fixed and now I dont know what to do.

Analyst: Well, at least your Ego seems to going strong..